Welcome to The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down by Haemin Sunim. This beautiful book, written by a Zen monk and teacher, is a heartfelt reminder that the fast-paced world we live in often causes us to overlook the beauty and meaning in our everyday lives. Through thoughtful insights, Sunim gently guides us to slow down, embrace mindfulness, and live with greater clarity and peace. This summary will take you on a journey through the book’s wisdom, highlighting practical lessons that can transform the way you see yourself, others, and the world. But remember, this is just a taste of the book’s wisdom—I encourage you to read the full text for a more profound experience. Let’s dive into this journey of slowing down and reconnecting.
Chapter 1: Rest
How often do you feel like you’re running on empty? We live in a world that glorifies busyness, and rest is often seen as unproductive. But Sunim flips this notion on its head. Rest is essential, not just for your body, but for your mind and soul. Think about it—when you’re physically or mentally exhausted, even the simplest tasks feel overwhelming. By resting, you give your mind and body the chance to recharge and approach life with renewed energy.
Sunim likens the mind to a glass of muddy water. When the water is shaken, it’s impossible to see through it clearly. But when the glass is left still, the mud settles, and the water becomes clear. Rest works the same way for your mind. When you allow yourself to pause, your thoughts settle, and clarity emerges.
Practical Tip: Set aside time each day to truly rest. Turn off your phone, step away from work, and engage in an activity that soothes you—whether it’s reading, meditating, or simply sitting quietly. Even a 10-minute break can make a world of difference.
Chapter 2: Mindfulness
When was the last time you truly paid attention to what you were doing? So often, we rush through life on autopilot, our minds distracted by endless to-do lists. Sunim invites you to break this cycle through mindfulness—being fully present in each moment.
Mindfulness doesn’t require a special setting or long hours of meditation. It’s about focusing on what you’re doing right now. For example, when you’re eating, instead of scrolling through your phone or thinking about your next meeting, focus on the taste, texture, and smell of your food. When you’re walking, notice the sound of your footsteps, the breeze on your face, or the rustle of leaves.
Practical Tip: Start small. Pick one activity each day—like brushing your teeth or drinking your morning coffee—and do it mindfully. Over time, mindfulness will become a natural part of your routine, helping you feel more connected and grounded.
Chapter 3: Patience
Patience is easier said than done, isn’t it? Whether it’s waiting in a long line, dealing with traffic, or navigating life’s bigger delays, impatience often leads to frustration. But Sunim explains that patience isn’t just about waiting; it’s about how you wait. It’s about cultivating a sense of calm and trust in the process.
Think of a bamboo tree. For years, it grows slowly underground, building a strong root system. Then, almost overnight, it shoots up rapidly. Life often works the same way. The time you spend waiting is not wasted—it’s preparing you for what’s to come.
Practical Tip: The next time you feel impatient, take a deep breath and remind yourself that life unfolds in its own time. Use waiting periods as opportunities to practice mindfulness or reflect on your blessings.
Chapter 4: Relationships
Relationships are complex. They bring us joy but can also be a source of frustration. Sunim emphasizes that the quality of your relationships depends largely on your ability to communicate with empathy and understanding. Many conflicts arise not because of what was said but because of how it was interpreted.
For instance, if a friend forgets to return a call, you might feel ignored. But instead of jumping to conclusions, pause and consider their perspective. Maybe they were overwhelmed or simply forgot. By giving others the benefit of the doubt, you foster trust and understanding.
Practical Tip: The next time you’re upset with someone, take a moment to reflect on their perspective. Practice active listening—really hear what the other person is saying without planning your response. This small shift can transform your relationships.
Chapter 5: Love
Love is one of life’s most profound experiences, yet it often feels elusive. Sunim explains that the foundation of love is self-love. If you’re constantly critical of yourself, it’s difficult to truly love others. Start by accepting yourself as you are—flaws and all. Be kind to yourself, forgive your mistakes, and celebrate your strengths.
When you cultivate self-love, you’re able to love others without conditions or fear of rejection. Love becomes a gift you give, not something you demand or fear losing.
Practical Tip: Write down three things you love about yourself. Repeat this exercise regularly to build a strong foundation of self-acceptance.
Chapter 6: Passion
What makes you come alive? Sunim encourages you to pursue your passions but with a sense of balance. Passion gives life meaning, but it can also become overwhelming if you let it consume you. For instance, if you’re passionate about your work, it’s easy to overcommit and neglect other aspects of your life.
Practical Tip: Dedicate time to your passions but set boundaries. For example, if you love painting, schedule specific hours for it so that it enhances your life rather than takes over it.
Chapter 7: Success
Success is a concept that’s often defined by external standards—wealth, power, or recognition. But Sunim challenges you to redefine success based on your values. True success isn’t about meeting society’s expectations; it’s about living authentically and pursuing what genuinely makes you happy.
Practical Tip: Reflect on your definition of success. Write down what truly matters to you—whether it’s spending time with loved ones, creating art, or making a difference in your community. Use this as your compass for success.
Chapter 8: Failure
Failure feels like the end of the road, but Sunim reframes it as a stepping stone to growth. Every failure teaches you something valuable, guiding you closer to your goals. Instead of fearing failure, embrace it as part of the journey.
Practical Tip: The next time you experience a setback, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” Treat failures as opportunities for growth, and you’ll emerge stronger each time.
Chapter 9: Happiness
Happiness isn’t a destination—it’s a way of being. Sunim explains that happiness comes from appreciating the present moment rather than constantly striving for more. Gratitude is a powerful tool for cultivating happiness. By focusing on what you have rather than what you lack, you shift your perspective and open yourself to joy.
Practical Tip: Start a gratitude journal. Each day, write down three things you’re thankful for. Over time, this simple practice will help you see the world in a more positive light.
Chapter 10: Anger
Anger is a natural emotion, but it can be destructive if left unchecked. Sunim teaches you to pause and reflect when you feel anger rising. Ask yourself, “What’s really bothering me?” Often, anger stems from unmet needs or misunderstandings. By addressing these underlying issues, you can respond thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively.
Practical Tip: When you’re angry, take three deep breaths before responding. This small pause can help you regain control and approach the situation with clarity.
Chapter 11: Compassion
Compassion is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, and Sunim emphasizes its transformative power. It’s not just about feeling pity for someone’s struggles; it’s about genuinely stepping into their shoes and seeing the world through their eyes. When you practice compassion, you connect more deeply with others and reduce unnecessary judgment.
For instance, imagine someone cuts you off in traffic. Your initial reaction might be anger or frustration, but what if you pause and consider their situation? Maybe they’re rushing to an emergency or simply having a bad day. This shift in perspective not only softens your response but also reduces your own stress.
Practical Tip: The next time someone frustrates you, remind yourself that everyone has their struggles. Repeat the phrase, “Just like me, this person is seeking happiness and trying to avoid suffering.” This mindset fosters kindness and understanding.
Chapter 12: Forgiveness
Forgiveness is often misunderstood. Sunim explains that forgiving someone doesn’t mean condoning their actions or forgetting the hurt they caused. Instead, it’s about releasing the heavy burden of resentment and freeing yourself from its grip. Holding onto anger harms you more than the other person—it’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer.
Forgiveness doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process of acknowledging your pain, reflecting on the situation, and deciding to let go for your own peace. For example, if a friend betrayed you, you don’t have to immediately trust them again, but you can choose to release the anger so it no longer controls you.
Practical Tip: Write a letter to someone you need to forgive. You don’t have to send it; the act of writing can help you process your emotions and start the journey toward letting go.
Chapter 13: Nature
In our modern, technology-driven world, we often forget how healing nature can be. Sunim encourages you to spend time outdoors and reconnect with the natural world. Whether it’s the sound of waves, the rustling of leaves, or the sight of a sunset, nature has a way of calming the mind and reminding you of life’s simplicity.
Think about the last time you truly immersed yourself in nature. Maybe it was a hike, a walk in the park, or sitting under a tree. Didn’t it feel refreshing? That’s because nature grounds you, pulling you away from the constant noise of daily life.
Practical Tip: Set aside time each week to be in nature, even if it’s just a short walk. Leave your phone behind and focus on the sights, sounds, and smells around you. Let nature be your sanctuary.
Chapter 14: Change
Change is one of life’s certainties, yet it often brings discomfort. Sunim explains that resistance to change stems from fear—fear of the unknown, fear of losing control, or fear of letting go. But resisting change only creates more suffering. Instead, embrace it as an opportunity for growth.
Think of a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly. The process is undoubtedly challenging, but the result is something beautiful. Similarly, when you accept change, you open yourself to new possibilities and experiences.
Practical Tip: The next time you face a major change, write down the opportunities it might bring. Focus on the potential for growth rather than the discomfort of uncertainty.
Chapter 15: Acceptance
Acceptance is about making peace with reality, even when it’s not what you hoped for. Sunim teaches that acceptance doesn’t mean you stop striving for better; it means you acknowledge the present moment as it is, without resistance. When you accept reality, you free yourself from unnecessary suffering.
For example, if you’re dealing with a challenging coworker, acceptance doesn’t mean you condone their behavior. It means you recognize the situation as it is and decide how to respond without letting it consume you.
Practical Tip: Practice acceptance in small ways. If it’s raining on a day you planned to go outside, instead of feeling frustrated, embrace the rain. See it as an opportunity to stay in and enjoy a cozy moment.
Chapter 16: Simplicity
Life can feel overwhelming when it’s cluttered—not just physically, but emotionally and mentally as well. Sunim encourages you to simplify by letting go of what doesn’t truly matter. This could mean decluttering your home, saying no to commitments that drain you, or releasing old grudges.
Think about how you feel when you walk into a clean, organized space versus a chaotic one. Simplicity creates room for peace and clarity. It allows you to focus on what truly brings you joy and fulfillment.
Practical Tip: Start by simplifying one area of your life. It could be your wardrobe, your schedule, or even your thoughts. Ask yourself, “Does this bring me joy or value?” If not, let it go.
Chapter 17: Gratitude
Gratitude is one of the most powerful tools for shifting your perspective. Sunim explains that when you focus on what you’re grateful for, you naturally feel happier and more content. Gratitude doesn’t ignore life’s challenges; it simply reminds you of the good things that coexist with the struggles.
For example, even on a tough day, you might be grateful for a supportive friend, a warm meal, or a moment of laughter. These small blessings add up and help you see the richness of your life.
Practical Tip: Start a daily gratitude practice. Before bed, write down three things you’re grateful for. Over time, this simple habit will transform your mindset.
Chapter 18: Balance
Life is a balancing act, and Sunim emphasizes the importance of finding harmony between opposing forces. Whether it’s work and rest, giving and receiving, or ambition and contentment, balance is key to a fulfilling life. Too much of anything, even something positive, can lead to burnout or dissatisfaction.
For instance, if you’re passionate about your career, it’s easy to overwork and neglect your personal life. By setting boundaries and prioritizing rest, you can create a more sustainable rhythm.
Practical Tip: Take a moment to evaluate your life. Are there areas where you feel out of balance? Make small adjustments to bring more harmony into your routine.
Chapter 19: Presence
Being present is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and others. Sunim explains that presence means fully engaging with the moment, whether you’re spending time with a loved one, working on a project, or simply enjoying a quiet moment.
When you’re present, you connect more deeply with the experience at hand. For example, instead of checking your phone during a conversation, focus on listening. Your full attention makes the moment more meaningful.
Practical Tip: Practice presence by choosing one activity each day to do without distractions. Whether it’s eating a meal or talking with a friend, give it your full attention.
Chapter 20: Peace
Peace is the ultimate goal of Sunim’s teachings. He explains that true peace begins within. It’s not about escaping life’s challenges but about cultivating inner calm and resilience. When your thoughts, actions, and values align, you create a sense of harmony that radiates outward.
For example, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, instead of trying to control everything around you, focus on calming your mind. Meditation, deep breathing, or simply taking a walk can help you reconnect with your inner peace.
Practical Tip: Set aside a few minutes each day for a peaceful practice, whether it’s meditation, journaling, or simply sitting in silence. Over time, this practice will help you carry a sense of peace into every aspect of your life.
Conclusion
Thank you for joining me on this journey through The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down. Remember, life isn’t a race—it’s a series of moments meant to be cherished. By slowing down, practicing mindfulness, and embracing Sunim’s wisdom, you can create a life filled with peace, joy, and meaning. For the full experience, I encourage you to read the book. Take care, and don’t forget to pause and breathe.
